


Does This Feeling Go Both Ways?

by touchhimharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, First Time, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Virginity, M/M, The X Factor Era, Tomlinshaw - Freeform, first time blowjob, insecure!louis, sassy!louis, unsure!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:18:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2689166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchhimharry/pseuds/touchhimharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" All I want in life is a Tomlinshaw plot where I can play sassy bottom Louis. Just imagine. It doesn’t even have to be OC, just AU. Where Grimmy was co-hosting the Xtra Factor with Caroline Flack when the boys were on the contest. And Louis and Nick meet there and all the tension and banter and we can go up to even today and just how jealous Louis is of Nick being so open about his sexuality while he has to have a fake girlfriend even if she’s very comprehensive. Just sassy Louis, sensitive Louis, sexy Louis, all the Tomlinshaw feels pleaSE.  "</p><p>Written for this prompt :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does This Feeling Go Both Ways?

“Oh my God what the bloody fuck is he doing?!” – Louis screamed, completely outraged. Nick Grimshaw was LIVE on national television and was grinding provocatively against another man, out of all people. 

“He’s out and proud Lou, no surprise there” – Harry answered, watching the whole scene unfold with a wide smile and big, curious eyes. 

“It’s disgusting, that’s what it is. I can’t believe he’s acting all gay in front of all these people watching. “

“Louis, what’s your problem? I didn’t think you had a problem with gay people. We’re supposed to be about tolerance, yeah?” – Harry asked, concerned. His smile had turned into a little frown and his big, bright eyes didn’t look so sparkly anymore. He was so young, only 16, and was one of the most genuine and kind people you’d ever meet. He hated seeing people get hurt and Louis just sometimes couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. 

“I don’t have a problem with gays, Harry, I just think Grimshaw should tone it down a little. If he was grinding against a woman, I wouldn’t find it any less appauling…” – Louis replied, turning his eyes back to the stage only to find Nick call them out on stage.

It was the X-factor finals and everyone was very nervous. Especially Harry and Niall – they believed only winning 1st place would help them start a career they all dreamed of – as a band, as One Direction.  
Everyone was called on stage, so they quickly shuffled to the centre, along with the others – Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson.

Nick Grimshaw was co-hosting the show with Caroline Flack, a good looking woman in her 30s that the media already had hooked up with 16 year old Harry Styles. Louis couldn’t wrap his mind around that fact and was very worried about what would come after the X-factor – he was pretty sure they’d sign a record deal even if they didn’t win the show, they’d already had talks with Simon and Harry was already put in the “Womanizer” box, at only bloody 16. There’s no going back now. 

Nick was a very tall guy in his 20s, he was loud and obnoxious, and Louis had problems with him since day 1. He was always joking around and teasing Harry, commenting absolutely everything and always claiming he was right. Everything about Nick pissed Louis off - his style, his huge ugly shoes, his huge ugly hair, his huge hands and the glasses with no lenses in them. Like, seriously. Louis HAD to wear glasses and absolutely hated it, but yet Grimshaw wore ones even though he didn’t have to. It was a nightmare. 

“Ahhhh and now we have the One Direction boys! Let’s give it up for 1D!! “ – Nick cheered and the whole crowd went crazy. They were the absolute mascots of this seasons edition and people were in love with them since the beginning. They were still raw – not touched by stylists and hairdressers. Niall had crooked teeth, Louis’ hair was flat, Liam was absolutely lost, Zayn was half anxious, half bored, and Harry was so scared and nervous he used to vomit before the shows. But they put all their hearts into the band, and people could see that.

“So, Liam, how are you guys feeling tonight?” – Nick asked with a huge smile, flashing all his white teeth. Kind of like a horse – Louis thought. The lights were blinding him and he couldn’t see the crowd.  
“Errm, we’re feeling alright, yeah, just a little nervous, but that’s normal I guess. But, the guys we’re competing against are amazing, so we’re proud to be here with them.” – Liam answered, oh sooo diplomatically as usual. 

“Ahhh and now ma’ favourite Direction boy! The oldest and the smallest” – he said, winking at Louis. Louis could feel his cheeks heat up and anger started boiling his blood. If there’s one thing he hated, it was the fact that he’s the smallest whilst being the oldest. It just made him TICK when people brought that up. And who would Nick Grimshaw be if he didn’t bring it up? - 

“So Louis tell us, I’ve heard some folks say that you’ve been acting a little bit snappy these past few days, are you just nervous or is your inner diva already starting to kick in?” – He winked AGAIN and Louis was just feeling the anger rise in him. The crowd started laughing and he didn’t know what to say. It was 3rd grade all over again. He just stood there, red faced, with Nick Grimshaw pushing the microphone in his bloody face.

“Well Nicholas, I’m almost certain you made that one up just now, but I can say for myself and for the rest of the lads, I hope you don’t mind lads, that we’re very grateful to be here as a band and for participating in this amazing show, that we appreciate each and every person on the crew and the other contestants. Sure we’re nervous. Who could blame us? And I’d appreciate it if you’d get that microphone from my mouth mate, not everyone swings that way, if you know what I mean. HANNAH I LOVE YOU! “ – Louis blew a kiss and waved to the crowd, and everyone in the crowd went “oooooooooooo”…He was very mouthy boy. 

Mouthy, stubborn and beautiful.

“Is that so, Louis? I think you’re the only one who was having such dirty thoughts, mate” – Nick gave Louis a sly smile and before Louis could bitch back an answer, the microphone was quickly pulled away from him and Nick had moved on to Harry. 

It was official. Louis hated Nick. Let the games begin.

***************

Louis had been trying to calm Harry and Liam down for the past half an hour. They didn’t win. They came in third. Louis wasn’t so shocked with the decision, to be honest. He believe in the four other boys with all his heart, but he never believed in himself. Well, the management probably didn’t neither. He never got any solos on X-Factor. Maybe he was just supposed to stand there. But why? – he thought…

He was in the middle of wiping Harry’s tears when Nick barged in the room, loudly and obnoxiously, as usual. 

“Heyyy here are my boys! Well lads, time to celebrate” – He announced, walking over to the fridge and taking out a bottle of chilled champagne.  
Harry looked up at him with red, teary eyes, his nose runny and his lips pulled into a frown. “Celebrate?” – he said, in between sniffs – “What are we celebrating? We lost Nick. We didn’t even come in second. It’s all my fault, I was so nervous, and..”

“Shhhh none of that love. None of that.” – Louis hushed him, pulling him into a tight hug. Harry was so warm, and Louis was wondering if maybe he had a fever from all the emotions and the crying. 

“Harry” – Nick said gently, putting down the champagne bottle and walking over to the couch where Louis and Harry were sitting – “You were marvelous, Harry. Everyone loves you. I wish you didn’t blame yourself. I know there are things ahead of you, as a band. You have a meeting tomorrow morning with Simon, now don’t you?” – he asked, gently petting Harry’s curls, which Louis definitely did not like. 

“Y-yes..” – Harry answered quietly, calming down a little bit. 

“See? There you go. Everything will be perfect, ok champ?”

“Thanks Nick” – that finally got Harry to smile. He untangled himself from Louis’ arms and jumped up to tightly hug Nick. “Thanks for being such an awesome host and always rooting for us Nick” – he whispered in 

Nick’s ear, so close his lips were touching the shell. Louis wondered if that did things to Nick, and he certainly was not happy about what he was witnessing. He was the one that was supposed to make Harry smile and calm him down, not Nick fucking Grimshaw.

“No problem, little fella” – Nick whispered, intimately, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek and letting him go.

“I’m off to bed. You guys celebrate. All this crying has made me sleepy” – He gave a shy little smile. “Goodnight guys, love you both”.

“Love you too” – Nick and Louis said, at the exact same time. Louis waited till Harry had closed the door behind him , and faced Nick was a death glare in his eyes. Nick was standing there, with his stupid lens-less glasses and his horrific quiff, waiting for some sort of reaction from Louis.

“What the fuck was that!?” – there is was. Louis in all his glory.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, little Louis” – Nick smirked and turned to get back to opening the champagne bottle. Louis jumped off the couch and walked towards the kitchen, his hands curled into tight fists, ready to attack. 

“First of all, stop calling me little! Second of all, you know damn well what I’m talking about. Why are you all over Harry, huh?? Do you want to lure him into your bed with your questionable charm, Grimshaw? He’s 16, you know that? And how old are you??” – Louis could feel the anger boil in him, whilst Nick remained calm as a summer breeze.

Nick put the bottle on the table yet again and smoothly made his way towards the angry boybander. He stood in front of Louis and shit – he was tall. Louis suddenly felt like a midget standing next to him. His angry eyes fell to Nick’s broad chest, which was at his eye level. He gained his confidence and looked Nick back in the eye, lips tight and eyes angry.

“Now you know why I call you little?” – Nick smirked. Why was he so annoying?! 

“Shut up Grimshaw and answer my question!”

“Louis…tsk tsk…Why so angry? Are you jealous of mine and Harry’s friendship? Is that is?”

“I’m not jealous! Why the hell should I be. But I don’t want you barging in here and hugging him and being all over him. It’s revolting! And it’s MY job to take care of the boys!” – Louis was full on shouting.

“Ohhhh, OK, big brother. I get it. You’re jealous, aren’t you? Admit it. You’re jealous I’m the one who calmed Harry down, not you. Well news flash pumpkin, this isn’t home and Harry isn’t one of your fifteen sisters. You don’t get to play big brother by yourself. I care for Harry, like I care for the rest of the boys. I mean no harm and I’m quite aware of the fact that Harry is indeed 16. And because he’s 16, he needs  
taking care of, and I’ll gladly provide that kind of care and a shoulder to cry on.” – Nick said calmly, but still in that patronizing tone and annoying little smile.

“It’s four, not fifteen, you disrespectful twat! And it’s MY JOB, not yours. You’re not part of the band, no matter how much you’d like to be. And Harry’s not GAY, if that’s what…”

“Are you?” – Nick interrupted, with a sly grin.

“Am I what?!” 

“Are you gay, Louis?”

“What?! Of course not ! I’ve got Hannah waiting for me in the other room and…”

“Oh yes, dear Hannah. How’s the bedroom working out for you two these days, huh?” – Nick asked, with his signature wink and sly smile.

Of course. Of course he had to mention it.

It wasn’t a secret that Hannah and Louis weren’t having sex. Well, it was a secret until Hannah got drunk and said that Louis prefers to wait a while and that she’s so horny, in front of the WHOLE X-factor team and contestants. And of course, in front of the terrible, terrible co-host. 

Tears started welling in Louis’ eyes, out of pure frustration and helplessness. But he couldn’t let Nick see that, oh NO WAY.

“Fuck off, Grimshaw” – Louis said, resigned, his voice weaker and weaker, his eyes meeting the floor.

“No, seriously. You’re a guy, almost 19, you can’t possible make me believe that you don’t have needs. Now, I’ve never been in the closet, but..”

“Shut up! Just stop talking! I don’t feel the need to explain my sex life to you, Grimshaw, but if you MUST know, some people aren’t whores who sleep with everyone they see and remotely like” – Louis got his anger back, and was pointing straight at Nick.

“Sleeping with your girlfriend doesn’t make you a whore, Louis” - Nick said with a little sigh, his tone sad.

“I know that. Just keep away from Harry. We’ve finished this program now, and now me and Harry are going to live TOGETHER in London, without you always around, thank God. Without you and all your homosexual jokes and innuendos”.

“Oh, so you catch those innuendos, do you Little Lou?” 

“Fuck off Nick. I’m going to bed.” – Louis turned on his heel and started walking towards the door.

He heard Nick whistle, the sexy kind. He quickly turned around.

“What was that for?!” – he exclaimed, half angry, half self consciously.

“Did you choose those trousers yourself?” - Nick asked, licking his lips and eyeing him top to bottom. One of Louis’ nervous habits was pulling his shirt down, trying to cover himself, whenever people were  
talking about his looks. He was insecure about his ass and tummy, although he’d never admit it to anyone.

“Yes, why are you asking? What’s wrong with them?” – He was worrying his lip and fixing his fringe and pulling his shirt down simultaneously. Nick took pity on the nervous, self conscious mess he had in front of him.

“You really don’t know, do you?” – He asked warmly, no venom to his voice. He gave Louis a kind smile.

“Know what?!” – Louis grew more and more nervous. 

Nick eyed him once more before finally opening the champagne bottle. The sound made Louis jump up a bit.

“Nothing at all, little Louis. You sleep well. Goodnight” – he smiled by the time Louis could figure out what to say, Nick had disappeared with the champagne bottle in hand, leaving a confused Louis by himself in the kitchen. 

****************

 

“What a dreadful bastard! I swear he’s a nightmare!” – Louis opened the door to his and Hannah’s room with a loud shout.

“Shhh! Louis! Be quiet, people are sleeping” – she put down the book she was reading in bed. 

“Sorry Hannah, I just happened to chat with the lovely Nick Grimshaw, he always knows how to tick me off, that one. I don’t know how he does it…”

“Oh baby. Calm down” – she interrupted – “Take your kit off and lie down. You must be dead tired after all of tonight’s emotions.” Hannah made room for Louis on their bed.

“I’m not actually. More energy than even, to be quite honest” – he was walking around the room, trying to rid himself of the extra adrenaline he had in his system after his encounter with Nick.

“The weasel is all over Harry. It’s disgusting! I mean, you think he could at least keep his gayness on the lowdown. He’s flaunting it everywhere! I have no idea who raised such a freak. But I’ll make sure Harry doesn’t have to listen and see all those disgusting things anymore”. – Louis began undressing. It was like he was speaking to the floor, not to Hannah.

“Louis, why does it bother you so much? I think it’s admirable that he’s so open about his sexuality. If everyone who was gay wouldn’t be scared, like he isn’t, the world would be a much better place, I think” –  
Hanna said with a small smile, looking sleepily at Louis.

“What is THAT supposed to mean? That everyone should talk about dicks and penises..”

“That’s the same thing Lou.”

“Oh hush! You know what I mean.”

Louis got into bed and Hannah started cuddling him. She was warm and snuggly. He kissed the crown of her head and yawned, the sleepiness getting to him finally.  
After a while, when Louis was beginning to fall asleep, he felt Hannah grinding lightly against him, and her breathing was getting heavier. Louis opened his eyes in a flash and moved away from her.

“Hannah, what are you doing?!” – Louis seemed appauled and slightly disgusted.

“I’m sorry Louis, I just…I really want you…We’ve been together so long and..”

“I told you I’m not ready, didn’t I? Please don’t push this, I really don’t like talking about it…”

Hannah let out a long sigh. She never got mad when these talks came up. She was just so…absolutely sad and tired of it.

“I just…maybe I’m not what you’re looking for, that’s all...” – Hannah looked towards the window, sadness in her eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” – Louis’ defense mechanisms kicked in yet again. Always the same. Always. Always. 

“Maybe I’m not the right person for you, love.”

“What do you mean? You’re beautiful and smart, and I value your opinion very much, and…”

“I know sweetheart, I know” – Hannah gave Louis a sad smile. “But maybe that’s not all, hmm? Maybe you don’t know yourself yet. I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself and I wish you didn’t push me away  
whenever something’s troubling you”. – She kissed him lightly on his cheek and held his hand. It was very warm.

“Are you…are you insinuating something, Hannah?” – Louis’ voice was breaking and he looked away from the girl lying beside him.

“No love, of course I’m not. I’m here for you and love you very much”.

“I love you too Hannah, even though…this…is a bit of a problem for me. For now. Problem for now.” – Louis assured, quickly.

Hannah kissed him again and curled up into him.

“Goodnight Louis.”

“Goodnight Han.”

 

Months went by and One Direction were going better than ever. They were the number one boyband in the world, selling out huge concert venues and breaking youtube records. They were everywhere, on the cover of every magazine, on every gossip site.

Louis’ image was the marketing guy’s wet dream. As opposed to his loud mouth and stubborn personality. Braces, colourful trousers, tight striped t-shirts and a beautiful, caramel fringe. He was the perfect twink, and absolutely everyone was debating his sexuality.

The guys had just finished filming “A year in the making”, and everyone was a complete mess. They’d all poured their hearts out, talking about personal and painful things. Harry had talked about being bullied on the internet, Louis about his parents getting divorced. All the boys were a depressed mess. And it was Louis’ job to put them back together again. 

Harry and Louis were sitting in the living room of their London home. Louis had made tea and was cuddling a crying Harry by the fire place. They were snuggling tight and felt safe, away from all the hysteria. They could be themselves. Best friends. Friends that cared about each other dearly and who were there for each other. 

“They hate me Louis, they just…I don’t know what I do wrong. I try to be nice to everyone, and it just backfires or something, I just…” – Harry sobbed, pressing his face into Louis’ chest.

“Shhhh…Hush Harry” – he cooed, kissing the crown of Harry’s head. – “People are twats. They’re jealous of how much of a doll you are, you know? I wish you did know. People love you, Harry. Me and the lads do.  
So much. Even that dickhead Grimshaw loves you to bits. He’s all over you, that one”.

Harry laughed at the mentioning of Nick.

“Louis, you know I think it’s you he’s after? Seriously, what’s up with you guys? Your bickering is definitely flirting, that is.” – Harry smiled up to Louis, who was now rolling his eyes and groaning. 

“Harry pleaseeee, stop it. Just because me and Hannah split up really doesn’t mean anything.”

“I’m not talking about Hannah, Lou. I’m just…I don’t know even. It’s cute. I like it how you guys’ fight over me sometimes. I feel special” – he purred into Louis’ chest. - “By the way Lou, he’s going to be over in a sec. Promised to get me this really awesome coffee he discovered”.

“Urgh! Damn you hipsters!” – Louis laughed sarcastically, getting up from the couch and putting the kettle on. He subconsciously fixed his fringe and pulled his t-shirt back down before he heard the doorbell ring. Seeing that Harry was cuddled up with his blanket on the couch and was making no attempt to move, Louis hesitantly went to open the door.  
Standing at the door was Nick Grimshaw in all his glory, holding hipsteresque brown paper bags, full of “awesome and organic” goodies for Harry. He was wearing his signature black sunnies, skinnies and a olive green parka. His hair was styled up and Louis thought he looked ridiculous as usual.

“Grimshaw”.

“Tomlinson. Looking…nice. Nice.” – Nick took off his sunnies and eyed Louis from eye to toe, humming in appreciation, making the other boy feel a little uncomfortable and unsure. He masked that, like he always did, with his snappy attitude.

“Grimshaw. To what do we owe the…pleasure?”

“I’m here to see Harry. Heard he had a little bit of a breakdown. Like some of the other boys, yeah?”

“Well of course you’d want to make sure he’s OK, Nicholas. Still trying to get in his pants, are you? No one in the over 30s club seem appealing to you?” – Louis crossed his arms over his chest and held his proud head up high.

“For fucks sake Tomlinson. I’m 26, and I’m Harry’s FRIEND. Ever heard of those, huh? Why in God’s name do you think I’m out to fuck everyone?! Something on your mind, hmm, Louis?”

“Oh piss off. If by ANY fucking chance I was gay, which I’m certainly NOT, I’d never ever want you, Grimshaw. You’re annoying and you’re a fucktard. And a slut, too. From what I’ve heard. But, I guess that’s just your nature. Can’t help that, can you?” – Louis said casually, opening the door wide for Nick, who just huffed and rolled his eyes. 

They made their way to the living room in silence, so Harry wouldn’t hear them argue.

“Nicky!” – Harry squealed and jumped into Nick’s arms, hugging his tightly. Louis tried his best to press down the aching, burning jealousy he felt inside. He was a jealous boy, often jealous about his friends,  
sisters, parents. He didn’t like it about himself and tried hard to suppress those feeling and tried not to let them show. He didn’t know how well that was going for him though. 

Louis wasn’t aware of the fact that Nick caught all signs of his jealousy. His body language, the looks, the fixing his fringe. Nick knew them all by heart.  
Nick stayed with Harry for about half an hour, before the younger one fell fast asleep. After having the hipster coffee – Louis thought – bloody typical.

Louis was pretending to clean the kitchen, busying himself with the dishes and wiping the counters. In reality, he’d been eavesdropping on Nick and Harry, trying his best to hear everything they were saying, and wondering if they’d ever talk about him. When he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, he quickly turned on the tap and pretended to be busy. Which was a bit of a mistake….Louis never cleaned. Especially the kitchen. Everyone knew that.

Nick smirked walked up to Louis, so that he was standing behind him, putting his hands on the sink in front of him, caging the younger boy. He leaned in and whispered into Louis’ ear, his lips lightly brushing Louis’ shell

“Didn’t mama tell you it’s bad manners to eavesdrop, LouLou?”

Louis visibly shivered and inhaled deeply.

“I…I..wasn’t eavesdropping..Just..cleaning?”

Nick grinned and uncaged the poor boy, taking a few steps back.

“Oh right. Cleaning, huh? Cleaning the kitchen? Won’t fool anybody with that one, Tomlinson.”

“Fine!” – Louis huffed and turned around dramatically, to face Nick. “I was actually watching out for Harry. So you wouldn’t jump him in his sleep or something, infect him with your gayness. You’re an old perv, Grimshaw, and he’s had a long, hard day. We’ve been filming a documentary, you see, and Harry…”

“I know, Louis. I know it’s been hard. But no need to be rude to me.” – Nick interrupted, and Louis gave him a look, half appauled, half surprised. – “And you’ve been great to the boys. Harry was telling me how well you took care of everyone. Good on you Tomlinson.” – Nick gave Louis a warm, sincere smile.

Louis smiled a little bit and subconsciously fixed his fringe. 

“It...it’s nothing, they need it, they..” – Louis mumbled, pulling his shirt down.

“Who took care of you?” – Nick asked, out of the blue, interrupting Louis once again. Louis looked at him, like he was looking at an alien.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…your story was the most heartbreaking, to be honest. Who took care of you, huh? Checked if YOU were ok?”

Louis stood there, silent, staring at Nick for a while. He resembled a scared little animal and he had no idea what to say.

“I..I didn’t need any ‘taking care of’ Grimshaw.” – oh yes, there was the old Louis back, Nick thought. “I’m the oldest. I’m the one who takes care of the boys. I’m..”

“You’re the only one who didn’t shed a tear. That’s quite admirable, Louis. But I must say, I think your story was the most painful, to be honest. Because it’s about family. You’re close to your family, aren’t you?”

“For fucks sake, would you stop interrupting me?!” – Louis raised his voice, hands formed into fists, knuckles white. It was like he was ready attack, but Nick knew he wouldn’t do anything. “Of course I’m close to  
my family. They’re the most important people to me. My mum and sisters.”

“And your dad isn’t?” – Nick asked gently, no mockery in his voice.

Louis was absolutely furious by now. His eyes were wide and he was fighting back tears of anger.

“I don’t have a dad. Never did and never will. Anymore” – Louis turned around, as if ashamed, and looked out the window. “Stop taking the piss out of me OK, Grimshaw? You’ve had your fun, now go away and  
leave me alone” – His voice broke and he felt humiliated. Why did Nick Grimshaw, out of all people, ask him how he felt about the divorce!? He’d been building his armour for months, why was it so easy for Nick to  
tear it down? Hadn’t he been tough enough?

“Look Louis…I don’t know why you think I’m such a dickhead. I’m really a nice guy if you get to know me. I care about you guys…and you, you twat.” – Nick made his way to Louis, who was still gaping out the window. Nick couldn’t see his face, but he knew the younger boy was wiping his eyes with his sleeve, quickly, as if him being quick would make Nick not see.

“You only care about Harry, because you’re gay and just want to corrupt him. I know what gays are like, Grimshaw”.

“Oh would you shut up!” – Nick grabbed Louis’ wrist and spun him around, so that they were facing each other, mere centimeters away from each other.

“You make me furious Louis, you absolutely do my head in. I have no bloody idea why I’m so drawn to you, you absolute jerk. You insult me with your homophobic comments, you tease me with your fucking twinky trousers, and you hide behind a twat mask because you’re so full of insecurities and daddy issues you don’t even know who you are anymore” – Nick let it all out, on one breath. He kept his tight grip of Louis’ wrists, not letting him go, staring straight into his angry, scared eyes. Someone had finally seen through Louis. And It was HIM, out of all people. Oh life.  
Louis tried to release himself from Nick’s grip, but his actions were futile. 

“Fuck you! You think you know it all huh? I have NO daddy issues, you dick! I just don’t give a damn about both of those pricks who claimed to be my father at some point! And what, after a while I can just be tossed away, huh? What am I doing wrong?! Can someone tell me?! Am I just not good enough?! I try and try, and even management thinks I’m just the pathetic faggot who won’t get solos?” – tears were rolling down Louis’ cheeks, and he was doing nothing to fight them back now. – “They all just leave, all of them. My biological father left me, now dad…or Mark, I don’t know how to call him…I won’t be such a man, never! I just don’t know why…” – Louis broke down completely. He stopped fighting Nick and just collapsed into his arms, pouring his heart out in front of his enemy. 

He sobbed for a few minutes, and Nick just cradled him in his arms. This confused boy needed so much care, so much assuring. Nick didn’t know how or where to start picking up these broken pieces of beautiful boy. Nick hated himself for feeling the rush of lust in his groin, for a crying, vulnerable Louis he held in his arms. Nick came to the conclusion that confused and broken boys were his ultimate weakness. Especially mouthy ones, with round asses and soft fringes. Oh fuck, he was screwed. He’d either fix everything, or fuck everything totally up. He knew Louis would start attacking in a moment, humiliated and frightened.  
After a while of quiet crying, Louis looked up at him with wet, beautiful blue eyes. His eyes were pleading, and he looked so fragile and small. He looked scared, like he didn’t know what to do. It was all up to Nick, he couldn’t fuck this up. 

Nick smiled and gently fixed Louis’ fringe. He cupped Louis’ face and brushed his cheek with his thumb. His hand was so big compared to Louis’ face. The younger boy looked breathtaking. His eyes were so different once they weren’t so mad.

Before Nick could suggest tea and a lie down, Louis jumped on his tippy toes and connected their lips in a desperate, hungry, inexperienced kiss. 

“Wow, wow wooow, sweetheart, slow down” – Nick whispered, pulling away. Louis looked at him with hurt eyes, but Nick just couldn’t take advantage of this poor, vulnerable boy, no matter how much he wanted to kiss him back. “Could we talk about this first?” 

Louis took a huge step back and covered his mouth with his hand, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was utterly humiliated and…and tried to kiss another man, Nick Grimshaw out of all people.

“Hey hey, babe, don’t back out now, what’s wrong?”

“I…I tried to kiss you…and…you don’t want me to, do you? I...oh fuck this is so embarrassing, I…I should have known, I just thought...Oh fuck” – Louis was looking around the room, not knowing what the hell to  
do, scattering around, panicking and nervous, not able to catch a steady breath.

“Hey, hey, Lou, it’s not like that...please, calm down..”

But the younger boy couldn’t hear him at all.

“And now you’re going to make fun of me on the radio, oh my God, on TV, oh my God…please…You’re going to tell them all that I told you” – Louis was having a proper panic attack. Tears were running down his face and his hands were crumpling his t-shirt, furiously.

“Shhhhhh…baby, no, no of course not, hey, come here, please…why would you think so, Jesus, Louis…” – He grabbed Louis and hugged him tightly. – “I’m really not such an asshole, you know..” – he whispered and kissed the younger boy’s head.

“No! You’re just like all the other men, you…you fucking dick! First you pretend to care, and then you push me away! Let go of me!” – Old Louis was back for good. Nick figured it was enough for one day and released him. He didn’t have the strength to deal with more of this right now.

“I’m fucking humiliated, is that what you wanted?! Fag Tomlinson, uncovered at last?! Yeah?? You happy? You’re all the fucking same, I hate you all!” – Louis stamped his feet in a childish manner, and ran out of the kitchen. Nick heard his bedroom door slam.

Nick was sure now. Louis was beyond confused and ashamed about his sexuality, and hurt by the most important men in his life. What a mess.  
Days went by and Louis was still not speaking to him. He was ashamed and furious, snapping back at him at any given chance and giving him even more homophobic shit. At times Nick wanted to call him out in front of all the lads, to give him a taste of his own medicine, but he knew that was no way to handle this issue. He had to be patient, gentle and be the adult in this situation. He had to let Louis be Louis, until the time was right and his humiliation had simmered down. He had kissed Nick after all, and the thought was probably unbearable to him.

On Saturday night the lads had decided on going clubbing all together. Everyone was up for it, except for Louis, who felt tired and just wanted a good lie in.

“You sure Lou? I could stay, if you’d like” – Harry suggested, feeling concerned like the good friend he was. Louis kissed him on the cheek and said,

“I’m fine Harry, promise. You go have a good time with the boys. Just be careful, yeah? I’ll probably just take a warm bath and snuggle up in bed. That’s exactly what I need” – Louis smiled with a soft, sleepy voice.

Harry smiled fondly at the smaller boy. “OK. Call me, if you need anything. I’ll be home later. Love you.”

“Love you too Harry.”

And with that, the boys were off. 

Louis had been feeling a little better, but he was still very much confused and tired with himself. The situation with Nick scared him too, he was positive the prick would bring it up on the Breakfast Show and every morning Louis was shitting his pants worrying what he would say. Not that he’d admit it , anyway. So when a week went by, Louis came to the conclusion that Nick had let it go. That thought relaxed him a bit. Nick was supposed to meet the boys at the club. Of course he chose it, being the hipster he is.

The curvy boy lit a few candles in the bathroom and got inside the hot bubbly water. It felt like heaven, the hot water against his skin made him forget his worries and just give in to the soothing feeling. The  
tension is his muscles let go and he was in his own, blissful world. Music was playing quietly and nothing in the world could interrupt him.  
Except.

Nick Grimshaw was waiting outside the club, waiting for his five hotshot boybanders. He felt confident, having two whiskey sour’s back at home, confident enough to finally confront Louis about what had happened the week before. He had put on his best skinnies, a leather black coat. He styled his hair neatly and he thought he looked proper smart, thank you. Nick hoped Louis would think the same.  
So as soon as the limo pulled up in front of the club, he put on his coolest, most casually sexy face, only to have it fall when he counted only four, not five, boybanders. The mouthy little one was missing.

“Nick, hi! Well, dontcha look smart, ey!” – Niall slurred, they’d obviously had been sipping champagne in the car.

“Well thank you, my lovely Leprechaun, you look sweet yourself. Where’s the tiny one missing?”

“Oh Louis? He felt sleepy and tired. Was strange all week, like kind of nervous and frightened. We couldn’t get him to tell us what it was. But he seemed all right now, just wanted an early night in with a bubble bath  
and tea.” – Harry explained, fixing his cheetah printed coat.

Well fuck his life. The night he felt confident was the night Louis fucking Tomlinson decided to stay at home. Trust his luck and fuck his life.

Nick managed to pretend to be having a good time and not be thinking about Louis Tomlinson for about half an hour. He told Harry was off, having to go to work in the wee hours of the morning. Harry was having a blast, so he just nodded enthusiastically and went back to his so called dancing with Liam.

Nick didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. It must have been the apple martinis mixed with the whiskey sours, but before he acknowledged what he was doing, he was in a taxi, on his way to Harry’s and Louis’ place.

He was a little nervous standing in front of their door and was wondering if he should ring the nasty doorbell, or just let himself in with the set of keys Harry had once given him. He decided on the latter, quietly putting the key in the keyhole and twisting it. Nick didn’t really know why he was being so sneaky. 

The apartment was quiet and clean, as if no one was home. The one thing giving away someone’s presence was the soft music, coming from the bathroom. Harry had mentioned Louis wanted to take a bath. Would it be very creepy to knock…?

“Oh my God, Nick! What the fuck are you doing here?! Where’s Harry?!” – Louis was startled and was trying to cover himself up, although the bubbles were doing the trick already.

“I uh…Harry’s at the club…” – Nick’s eyes were glued to Louis’ body in the bathtub. Golden, wet, shiny…Untouched. – “I came because I was worried, alright? I hadn’t heard from you, since, since..”

“Since you humiliated me and pissed me the fuck off, yes I have a recollection of that” – Louis hissed, fixing his fringe yet again, even though it was wet and plastered to his forehead.

“Louis, would you shut the fuck up please, and understand that I had no intention to make you feel uncomfortable!”

“Then why the hell did you push me away, huh?! First you open up wounds that were starting to heal, and then..” – Louis’ voice and sobs gave him away. This boy was struggling and there was no one to help him.  
He didn’t let anyone help him, he didn’t let anyone inside his heart or mind. 

Nick kneeled beside the tub and faced Louis. He wiped his salty tears away with his thumb. Louis’ face was rosy, from the hot water, the awkward situation and the emotions he didn’t dare speak of.

“Were you afraid I’d do something with that information, love?” – Nick asked. 

Louis huffed – “Well of course I did. I was scared all week. Forced me to listen to that shit program of yours each morning…” – Louis’ eyes didn’t dare meet Nick’s.

“Oh love…you’re such a little shit, you know that? It flatters me that you listened to my, quote, shit program each morning, but I would never, ever tell anyone what you feel and what you told me at the party. I may  
be a self-absorbed prick mind you, but I’m not a complete twat, you know. Besides, you’re Harry’s best friend and..”

“Oh yeah! And you want in his pants, of course, being the old queer you are…”

That was just about enough for Nick.

“Louis, SHUT UP, FOR FUCKS SAKE” – Nick grabbed Louis’ face forcefully with one big hand and pulled him into an aggressive kiss. 

Louis started moving into the kiss, causing the water to form waves and splash around everywhere. He was pretty surprised, but none the less enthusiastic. 

“What…what are you doing Nick!” – Louis pushed away, revealing his blushing, wet face.

“I want you to realize that I fancy you, Goddamit ! I don’t know how, but I like you, ok? Even though you’re a selfish little bastard and you won’t stop running your mouth about me, I’ve got some sort of weak spot for you, all right? You’re just so…what’s another word for infuriating…Urghhhh Louis…You’re fucking gorgeous, and I know deep down, you’re lost and very hurt and..”

“Excuse you! I am NOT lost and hurt, Nick, I’m..” – Louis’ interrupted, defense mode on yet again.

“SHHHH! I’m talking now” – Nick put his finger on Louis’ lips to silence him. Louis’, surprisingly, obeyed.

“I just want you to let it go, Louis. Let go of your worries, stop being so defensive, …let those walls crash down..” – He swiped his thumb over Louis’ sharp cheekbones. A single tear rolled down Louis’ face as he started into the water.

“What’s hurting you so much, beautiful? Where’s the pain?” – Nick cooed.

Louis sighed and finally began to let go.

“I’m just so…lost Nick. I don’t know who I am or where I am or what…I don’t know what I’m supposed to be. My biological father left me, my dad left me too…I just….I just don’t know how to maintain healthy relationships with men Nick, that’s the problem. Was I such a disappointment to them , that they left me? I just don’t know how to behave around people…and you’re no exception, Nick…I’m jealous, I’m a right  
bastard really…I’m so damn confused. And it’s not just my…sexuality, Nick, it’s my whole identity I have problems with” – Louis voice broke down and warm tears were spilling down his face. 

Nick didn’t know how to feel with the face that a broken down, crying Louis did things to him. He wanted to mend him, heal him. He wanted to show Louis real pleasure, he wanted to take care of him. Such pleasure, he’d never think of going back or doubting himself again. 

Simultaneously, he wanted to take him slowly, and roughly. To fight back all the anger and pain Louis had caused him; but at the same time he wanted to go slowly and gently , to make Louis realize it’s OK to be confused and to slowly discover who you are. 

“First things first, pet. Let’s get you out of the water. It must be getting a bit cold, yeah?” – Nick said gently, barely a whisper. 

Louis nodded as Nick got up and grabbed a fluffy yellow towel and made his way to the scared boy in the tub. 

Awkwardness was in the air as Nick held out the towel for Louis, waiting for him to stand up out of the, now cool, water.

Louis did just so, looking everywhere but at Nick, awkwardly covering his manhood, a prominent blush dusting his cheeks and neck. So this was vulnerable Louis, Nick thought with a small smile.

“Spread out your arms, love” – Nick said, curious to how Louis would react to those words.

“W…what? Why?” – Louis was like a scared little animal, and his guard was gone.

“So I can wrap the towel around you waist, yeah? And I can’t do that with your hands in the way, now can I? Come on, no need to be shy. We’re amongst men, aren’t we? – Nick joked.

Louis hesitantly uncovered himself, and held out his arms like Nick had asked him too.

The taller lad started gently drying the shivering boy, noticing the little goosebumps that had formed on his body. He dragged the towel down from his neck, to his belly…gently drying him…right down to his…

Now Nick wouldn’t be Nick if he didn’t spice things up a bit and add a little bit of erotica in all the things he does with pretty boys. And he wouldn’t be Nick if he didn’t take a little glimpse at Louis’ cock. 

Louis had a gorgeous cock. Not too big, not too small. Just right. Pink, smooth, and filling up already from the light touches the soft towel and Nick’s firm hands were giving him. 

Louis’ breath had gotten quicker and Nick looked at him to see if everything was OK. He didn’t want to push the poor, frail boy and have him run back into his shell. Louis’ fringe was plastered to his forehead and 

his eyes were clothes. He was biting his bottom lip, as if to keep himself from making any sounds.

“Do you like that?” – Nick just so whispered, gently working the towel up and down Louis’ cock, feeling him getting harder and harder. Hearing his breathes getting quicker and quicker.

“Don’t…laugh at me..” – he managed to croak out, eyes still closed.

“I’m not laughing, you silly boy. I want to know what gives you…pleasure…Does it, Louis? Do you like this?”

“I…I do…” – He muttered, as if confessing a deadly sin.

Nick pulled the towel away and revealed the hard, red cock that was hiding behind it. He kneeled down, in front of the tub, and took a long, deep whiff of Louis’ cock. 

Nick loved the smell of clean, aroused cock.

He was merely centimeters away from Louis’ manhood when he asked,

“Has anyone ever tasted you, Louis?” – Nick asked, as if talking to the penis in front of him.

“Urgh…N..No…” – the flustered mess replied.

“Hmmm…well hold on then.” – Nick said and took Louis’ dick in his mouth. He was rock solid and hot. He had the salty and sweet taste only virgins had.

Louis was trying to contain his moans but wasn’t doing a very good job. He was writhing and panting , knees deep in the bathwater.

“N..Nick..I – oh God – I’m going to slip in a second, It’s too..” – He babbled.

“Shhh…” – is all that Nick said, picking him up bridal style and taking him into the bedroom.

He laid him down the bed and took in the sight before him. A flushed, nervous, vulnerable and hard Louis Tomlinson on a bed is the last thing he thought he’d ever be seeing. It was fucking beautiful and Nick  
knew he had to be a grown up about this and be very, extremely delicate and careful.

“What...what are you going to do now?” – Louis said, flushed and nervous as ever. 

Nick was still fully dressed, so be begun to undress slowly in front of Louis. Without a word. Louis just stared at him, arousal present in his eyes and between his legs.

Once Nick was naked he finally replied to Louis’ question

“I’m going to continue what I started…” – without breaking eye contract with Louis, he spread his legs and dipped down, taking his leaking cock back into his mouth.

After a minute of sucking, Nick could tell that Louis was already really close. He was panting, his skin was crimson, and he was trembling. All the signs were there, so Nick quickly pulled off. 

Louis groaned in frustration and Nick chuckled, knowingly.

Nick didn’t say anything, he was just observing the panting mess on the bed.

After a while of staring at each other, Nick broke the silence.

“Are you a virgin Louis?” – he asked, out of the blue.

Louis huffed, the same old pissed off look in his eyes. 

“Why would you want to know?” – he asked, clearly annoyed and embarrassed.

Nick just rolled his eyes. “Because I need to know how gentle I should be love, that’s all. It’s important. Of course, if you want to that is, it’s all up you…” – Nick said, gliding a single finger up and down Louis’ inner  
thigh. That got Louis’ heartbeat racing again.

“You…you know the answer, Nick. Stop making me feel so bloody embarrassed.”

“Not even with Hannah?”

“No, OK? Not even with Hannah. Happy now?” – Louis covered his face with his arm, self-defense back, as per usual.

“Hey, hey babe. Don’t be like this, it’s me…” – Nick whispered, untangling Louis’ hands from his face.

“Exactly, it’s YOU, I shouldn’t be…I don’t know…aren’t you like, angry with me or something? I don’t understand all of this…” – Louis trailed off, looking everywhere but Nick. The bedside table looked most  
interesting.

“Louis, look at me” – Nick said, cradling Louis’ small face with his hand.

“I’m not angry with you. And I’d be lying if I’d say this little bickering thing we’ve got going on hasn’t been turning me on a bit…A lot actually. Fuck, Louis, you’re wonderful OK? You’re all kinds of messed up, but  
you’re beautiful, clever, and so, so strong…Baby, just let me take care of you, ok? I want to show you what it’s like with a man who care about you, who wants to take care of you and just let you forget for a while, yeah? I know you’re strong Louis, no one can forget that, but I just want you to relax and stop being so guarded, just for this…if you’ll let me, that is..” – Nick said, with a hint of a question in his voice. 

“Ok…I will…show me Nick, oh please show me..” – Louis said, a single tear rolling down his blushing cheek.

“Are you sure love?” – Nick asked once again, tracing his finger up and down Louis’ hard cock. Louis was shivering and falling apart in his hands.

“Yes, please…do it.”

Nick looked at the shaking, trembling mess he had before him. Louis was a sight, a bashful beautiful angel spread on the bed, armour vanished, guard down. This was the true Louis, the one that’s so ashamed of himself, of his feelings, of who he really is. The lost boy whose trust has been betrayed too many times, by the men he trusted most in his life.

“What…what are you going to do now?” – The smaller boy asked, his lip quivering, nervous and shy.

“I’m going to open you up baby, get you nice and ready for me, yeah? You ever touched yourself here?” – Nick’s finger brushed gently over the other boy’s tiny little hole. Louis shook his head, furiously, his cheeks aflame. 

“I..t-tried once….It felt kind of, dirty? I didn’t like it” – Louis whispered, telling his best kept secret to his once enemy.

“Oh well, I’m sure that’s because you didn’t do it properly. I’ll show you what it’s like to feel mindblowing pleasure, Louis. You’ve just got to relax. Have you got any lube or something like that?”  
The blue eyed boy took in a deep breath. “Will massage oil do the trick?” – he asked quietly, focusing on Nick’s giant hands that were supposed to go in him.

The taller man nodded, and Louis pointed to the bedside table. Inside he found an unopened bottle of cherry lube. He smiled, but didn’t ask any questions.  
Nick slicked up a finger and gently spread Louis’ thighs apart. The smaller boy was a sight…A nervous, bashful, yet eager boy, giving Nick access to his most private and intimate place. It turned Nick on more than  
he cared to admit. 

“This ok babe?” – he asked gently, looking for any signs of discomfort on the younger boy’s face. 

“Yes…it’s OK..I-I guess…You can add another one.”

Nick smiled at that suggestion and slowly added another finger. He was now moving his fingers around, trying to find that spot in Louis no one has even found before, not even himself. The spot that’ll show him what real pleasure is like.

“Arghhhh” – Louis moaned, gripping the sheets so tightly, his knuckled were turning white. Nick grinned to himself. 

“There we go…found it…”

Louis was a writhing, panting mess. “Oh please…please make it stop…I can’t, c-can’t…” – His eyes were closed tightly, sweat was dripping from his forehead. Nick didn’t know if the boy wanted the pain of the pleasure to stop or if it was too much for him, but he could tell Louis was too close to stop anything now. He doubled the speed of his fingers, abusing Louis’ prostate till the boy couldn’t take it anymore. He have one silent cry as he started shooting white ribbons onto his belly.

“Oh my God…Nick…Argh…..” – The smaller boy was mumbling incoherent words under his breath, his chest panting, his cheeks red and his fringe plastered to his forehead.

Nick wiped the sweat from his forehead and kissed him there. 

“Was that…alright?” – Nick asked, smiling like the cat that got the cream.

“Hmmm…quite alright, you old man. But that the best you’ve got?” – Louis winked at Nick, still vulnerable and blissed out, but content and satisfied. 

“Ha! Little-Lou, this is only the beginning of out sexual escapades” – Nick teased.

He was right. Their adventures were just beginning.


End file.
